You Do Not Need To Be Fixed: How To Deal With Life’s Changes
You do not need fixing.
You might be in pain. You might be angry, worried, afraid, or sad… but you are not broken. You are not a wine glass, fragile and filled with drippy red liquid. You are the liquid. You are fluidity. You change and you grow - transforming your insides into whatever shape you need to get through the moment. Solid. Liquid. Vapor. In a glass. In a puddle. In the air. You are endless.
Your pain will not last forever. This moment troubling you so much you feel like you cannot possibly bear the weight of another blow, this moment will disappear. Soon it will become a memory, draped in the cloudiness of your mind - attached to everything else living in your synapses.
See, when we struggle it is not to cause ourselves misery. When there’s pain, it does not happen so that we despise our own existence.
Everything on this planet is a symbol - a representation of a feeling - a physical expression of energy. And when these symbols find their way to us, our lives become no different than a museum. We can walk from room to room, from symbol to symbol, but we don’t have to live there to get the message and move on. We don’t have to bring our tent to the museum. And we definitely don’t have to look at a piece of art and decide that it’s “bad” simply because it reminds us of someone else’s struggle, of our struggle. We can observe. We can feel. We can watch. And we can leave - a changed person perhaps, but still a full and complete version of ourselves.
Each of us walk through this museum on a daily basis. Each of us at our own pace, with our own preferences, with our own favorite rooms and exhibits we’d gladly pay money to stay out of. But sometimes, we end up in a room that feels like a house fire. When this happens, and the panic sets in, when you want to go save all of your favorite things that are being turned into collateral dust, pause for a minute.
Appreciate the beauty of the flames. Listen to the sound of their cracking. Admire it for it’s power to bring life to a standstill. And then, surrender. If the flames are too hot, too large, too unrelenting, do not go running into the house. Do not risk your skin to save your pillows. Or your money. Or your photographs.
Let it go.
Remember, we are in a museum. There are more rooms to explore. There are more exhibits to feel your way around in. There is more life to live as this new version of yourself.
The house may have been on fire, but you? You are not broken. You can feel the weight of the situation without chaining yourself to the damage.
You are not the museum. You are not your feelings. When your feelings are filled with sadness, or emptiness, or frustration, YOU are still YOU. The feelings are simply another exhibit to explore in this mysterious and grand museum.
Yes, you wish things were different. You wish you knew how to operate through this situation. You wish you could change the outcome. You might be afraid of what's ahead. You wish you could fast forward through the suffering.
I have a secret to tell you.
You don’t need to fast forward. Change will come soon enough.
How long does water take to freeze? How long does it take the sun to set? How long before the leaves turn green again?
The cells in our bodies are dying and being replaced every single day. We are not an exact replica of the person we were an hour ago.
All of these things happen without hitting fast forward. All we have to do is be present to become aware of the transformation.
Things might suck today. They might suck more tomorrow. But at some point, they will not suck anymore. At some point, the transformation will happen. (You might not even be aware of the shift when it shows up). There is nothing for you to do. There is nothing you need to force.
You do not need fixing. You are not broken. You are not a liability. Your spirit is indestructable. Let life unfold around you. Put down the tools. Put down your resistance. Let yourself unfold, too.