What They Don't Tell You About Self-Love and Self-Care...
I’m sure you’ve heard it before… take care of yourself first because you can’t support anyone else if you’re struggling yourself.
We know that self-care is about making sure we’re doing what’s necessary for us to feel alive, well, vibrant, and healthy. We know not to take a second for granted because this existence in this particular body with this particular perspective at this moment in time doesn’t last and eventually we will cease to exist... so we say seize the day, take chances while you can, and live your best life.
And then we get upset. We get upset with ourselves, and we get upset with the people we’re around.
Because what actually happens when people attempt to live a life of self-love isn’t comfortable. What actually happens is that when people make decisions from a place of self-love, the decisions are often inspired by a different set of values and priorities.
Living this way means that we will disappoint people. It means that we won’t always be available. It means that we won’t make every event. We won’t be able to please everyone.
Because sometimes going to those events, and meeting other peoples needs conflicts with what WE need in order to truly live our best life.
Decisions must be made. Eventually we realize that lines in the sand are problematic, so instead we learn to draw lines in cement. Lines that are at one point malleable, but upon drying become firm. Living a life of self-care and dedication means that our focus has to be deliberate and refined. It requires commitment. It means that we have to put ourselves first. And it means that the people around us will have to learn to be comfortable coming in second... (maybe not ALL of the time, but a lot of the time).
Some people don’t like coming in second. They take it personally. Some people refuse to respect someone else’s hustle - however that might look. They refuse to understand that your self-care and your hustle might not resonate with them. They refuse to respect that everyone is different! They judge and hold tightly to their interpretations of who you are based on how well you meet their needs.
I say all of this to point out that when you decide to live life for you, when you decide to pursue your dreams, when you decide to walk your own path, eventually someone will call you out, will tell you you’re wrong, will say that you’re not supportive, will say that you don’t care or that you've changed, will decide that you don’t love them after all. Because you’ve chosen yourself.
And those people? The ones who can’t understand the way you love yourself? The ones who think they know the best way you should live your life? The ones who think they know, 100%, without a doubt that you should be everything they need you to be all of the time, they’re not your people. They don’t share your vision. They don’t speak your language. They don’t see the possibilities you see. (This is a good thing. They don’t need to share you vision or understand you at all... because when you choose yourself, you will rise anyway).
If the people who are upset with you for for choosing yourself were living their best life, they’d be so busy making sure they loved themselves, that they’d know exactly where you were coming from when you had to say no to their event, their request, their needs. They’d interact from a place of empathy instead of ego.
So love yourself anyway. And chase your dreams. But know that it might not be comfortable. It probably won’t be understood. People will tell you to stop doing what you’re doing so you can support them instead. Choose yourself. And then move on.
Get serious about your focus. Get serious about your mission. Get serious about creating a community. And then get serious spreading the word - that the world doesn’t have to respect your path in order for your path to be valid. You believe in your mission first, and the rest unfolds when it’s supposed to.
It's time to stop worrying about who is or isn’t supporting you!
It's time to stop trying to force other people to behave the way you want them to. It's time to stop focusing on how well received you are. It's time to pay much less attention to the recognition, and focus on your WHY. Focus on your intrinsic motivation. Work from the inside out.
Support yourself. Encourage yourself. Grow anyway. Rise anyway. Commit to your craft. Do the work. Inspire strangers. Elevate your hustle in a way that works for you. And watch your art, your drive, your work, your personality, and your brilliance speak for itself.
Want to learn one of my favorite strategies for loving yourself and following your dreams without letting fear and outside criticism get in the way?
In my official group coaching program on eliminating stress from your life I’ll guide you, step by step through 8 weeks of developing a mindset that takes you from worried to winning!
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Prefer a go-at-your-own-pace mindful self-love course instead? You'll learn everything about loving yourself mindfully, and learning to live your life like it actually matters! Check out the details here!