Stress Free Living Challenge: Day 1
Day 1 of the Stress Free Living Challenge
Becoming Zen AF: Why you’re doing all the “right” things but your stress hasn’t gone anywhere.
Have you ever told yourself that you’ve tried EVERYTHING to finally feel stress-free? Have you ever bought into the idea that life just sucks and you have to simply get over it? Have you ever felt like you have to put off every dream you’ve ever had for yourself because you’re just too overwhelmed to even know where to begin?
If you have, I COMPLETELY understand.
I understand where you’re coming form because I’ve been there.
I’m Djinji - the founder and self-love/mindfulness coach at MeditateandWonder.com, and it’s my mission to teach you how to use mindfulness to FINALLY get the courage and clarity you need to make your wildest dreams a reality! (And I’m sure part of your dream life is to be stress free, right?)
That was my dream years ago. And at the time, I thought I was crazy to even WANT that. I listened to SO many people tell me that stress is inevitable. That being overwhelmed and indecisive and frustrated was simply a part of life that no one can escape. That the only answer was to toughen up, put my emotions on the shelf, and get shit done.
But no matter how hard I tried… that approach to life just never felt right to me. It didn’t fit with who I was internally. And it didn’t fit with the vision I had of my life.
So long story short, I committed to living a mindful lifestyle so that I could become stress-free, and as a byproduct I created my dream job and left all of my stressful, inauthentic baggage behind for good!
I don’t want any woman to ever feel like they can’t pursue their dreams. I don’t want any woman to ever think that stress is her birthright. I don’t want any woman to ever think that her talents and gifts are worthless. I don’t want any woman to ever feel so lost and stressed out that they can’t even see a happy, fulfilled future for themselves anymore.
But if that’s where you are right now, don’t worry. I’m about to share some of the most amazing strategies, tools, and lessons that helped me let go of the stress, find my self-worth, and create a Zen AF life I truly love!
Here’s the secret:
What you DO doesn’t matter as much as you think it does.
No matter how many things you’ve tried… no matter how often you perform self-care rituals and no matter how many times you try to meditate but end up just running through all of the things you have to get done tomorrow instead… Sometimes you feel like the strategies and actions just aren’t working for you.
You’re still stressed. You’re still living a life that doesn’t excite you. You’re still frustrated. You’re still worried.
Want to know why?
Because taking action on its own won’t move you forward. Doing all of the actions that are supposed to change your life will not work if you’re not present while you’re doing them.
It’s all about your intention and your focus. It’s about what your purpose is. It’s about where your attention is.
(This is where mindfulness comes in! Mindfulness is our ability to pay attention, on purpose, without judgment, with love).
Being mindful is the difference between being Zen AF and being miserable AF!
When we are able to pay attention, on purpose, without judgment, with love we can
See, you could commit to taking a beautiful walk for yourself at least once a week. Or you could commit to watching a great movie, having a girl’s night, or exercising as soon as you wake up every morning…
And those things could make you even more tired than when you weren’t taking time to put yourself first.
Or you might be so stressed and feel so strapped for time, energy, or money that you don’t even know how to start trying to care for yourself. Because you’re convinced that everything/everyone else is more important.
THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OF PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST IS to actually put your thoughts and feelings first. To care about how you feel. To care about the thoughts you repeat to yourself all day long. To care about whether you’re being mean to yourself or not. To pay attention to how often you judge yourself for your self-care preferences. To care about it you’re living your dreams or your nightmares.
Because if you’re not paying attention to the thoughts you think on repeat…. if you’re not paying attention to the way you’re feeling everyday, getting to living a zen AF life, a stress-free life will not happen.
Your beliefs create your thoughts, your thoughts influence how you act, and how you act on a consistent basis determines your results.
So we have to start at the beginning! We have to start with how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking. Paying attention to these things will help you eliminate stress for good!
So here are some specific strategies you can implement when you’re feeling stressed… when you feel like you’ve tried everything to find peace and focus in the middle of a chaotic moment… or when you feel like you’re practicing self-care and meditating but getting nowhere.
1. Start a timer for 1 minute. Breathe deeply - in a way that feels comfortable and soothing for you. Focus on how your breath feels as it moves in and out of your body. Allow your breath to feel like a massage.
If you find it hard to allow your breathing to feel relaxing to you, you can pick a one word mantra that signifies the feeling you want to focus on: relief, soothing, calm, slow, love, or something else that resonates with you in the moment. (After you do this pay attention to how you were able to shift your own energy and presence - even if just a little bit. And find some peace and solace in that).
2. Give yourself permission to be right where you are.
Realize that you just gave yourself the biggest act of love you could - to take time to settle yourself. To allow yourself to settle into peace and soothing energy even as you’re feeling overwhelmed.
3. Set an intention for yourself.
Every time your stress comes forward, every time you find yourself thinking you’re overwhelmed. Every time you start speaking to yourself saying things like “I can’t handle this. This is crazy… I’ll never figure it out… ” pay attention to that. And release yourself from the grips of identifying with those thoughts. Shift into awareness. (Your thoughts about a situation are not who you are. Your interpretations of what you’re going through are separate from the entity that is aware of those thoughts)! So begin to create a ritual of returning to a mantra that reminds you of this anytime you’re feeling too stressed out. Try “I am exactly where I need to be in this moment, and everything is okay.” “I don’t have to fight against how I’m feeling right now. I can feel dissatisfaction and know that soon it will transform.” “Because I am aware of these stressful feelings, I am also aware that I’m also feeling alive, lighthearted, tired, and excited all at the same time.” Or you can try, “Stress doesn’t mean anything except what I want it to mean.”
You can even create your own! Try to create a mantra that allows you to shift into the way you WANT to feel instead of dwelling on the negative feelings stress is bringing you.
Doing these things might feel strange, difficult, ineffective, or weird at first. Keep doing it anyway. Mindfulness and living a Zen AF lifestyle is more about being than it is about doing. But being comes along because of continual behavior… because of consistent practice.
The more you do these things, the more they become habitual. The more you can jump right into these strategies when you’re feeling stressed, the fast you can shift out of stressed and into loving and caring for yourself instead of obsessing over your stress.
Once this shift happens on a regular basis, you’re well on your way to living stress free!
I go over the three steps for shifting out of stress and into a high vibe state in this video so check it out!